Growing in the Middle Ground
I believe that my beliefs are changing. Nothing is positive. Perhaps I’m in a stage of metamorphosis, which will one day have me emerging complete, sure of everything. Perhaps, I shall spend my life searching.
Until this winter, I believed in outward things, in beauty as I found it in nature and art. Beauty past—swift and sure—from the outside to the inside, bringing intense emotion. I felt a formless faith when I rode through summerwoods, when I heard the counterpoint of breaking waves, when I held a flower in my hand.
There was the same inspiration from art, here and there in flashes; in seeing for the first time the delicacy of a green jade vase, or the rich beauty of a rug; in hearing a passage of music played almost perfectly; in watching Markov dance Giselle; most of all, in reading. Other people’s creations, their sensitivity to emotion, color, sound, their feeling for form, instructed me. The necessity for beauty, I found to be the highest good, the human soul’s greatest gift. But there were moments when I wasn’t sure. There was an emptiness inside, which beauty could not fill.
This winter, I came to college. The questions put to me changed. Lists of facts—and who dragged whom how many times around the walls of what—lost importance. Instead, I was asked eternal question: what is beauty, what is truth, what is God? I talked about faith with other students. I read St. Augustine and Tolstoy. I wondered if I hadn’t been worshipping around the edges. Nature and art were the edges, and inner faith was the center. I discovered—really discovered—that I had a soul.
Just sitting in the sun one day, I realized the shattering meaning of St. Augustine’s statement that, “The sun and the moon, all the wonders of nature, are not God’s first works but second to spiritual works.” I had, up till then, perceived spiritual beauty only through the outward. It had come into me. Now I am groping towards an inner, spiritual consciousness that will be able to go out from me. I am lost in the middle ground. I’m learning.
在探索中成長
我堅(jiān)信,自己的信仰一直在改變。沒有什么事情是絕對的。或許,我還只是處在幼體的發(fā)育階段,總有一天我會發(fā)育完全,就會對一切深信不疑;或許,我將用一生的時間去探索。
在這個冬天以前,我信仰外界的事物,信仰在自然與藝術(shù)中所發(fā)現(xiàn)的美。美麗總會稍縱即逝,從外到內(nèi),給人留下無盡的感傷。當(dāng)我騎馬穿過夏日的樹林,當(dāng)我聆聽著浪花翻滾的韻律,當(dāng)我手中握著一朵鮮花時,我感覺到一種無形的信念。同樣的靈感也來源于藝術(shù)——它無處不在,轉(zhuǎn)瞬即逝。當(dāng)我初次看到一只精妙的白玉花瓶時,或者看到一塊華麗的地毯,聽到一段演奏得近乎完美的音樂,看到馬爾科娃在《吉賽爾》中優(yōu)美的舞姿時,都會有這種靈感。然而,最多的靈感卻是來自于閱讀。他人的思想,對情感、顏色、聲音的敏銳,以及對形式的感知,都會給我?guī)韱⒌?。我發(fā)現(xiàn),對美的需求是人類最崇高的善舉,是人類靈魂最偉大的天賦。但是,我想它并非一切。
今年冬天,我開始了大學(xué)生活。我所面臨的問題也有所改變。很多事實(shí)與那些“誰拉著誰徘徊在哪個墻邊?”的問題已變得毫無意義。相反,一些永恒的問題出現(xiàn)在我的面前,比如,何為美?何為真?
何為上帝?我與其他學(xué)生探討信仰的問題,我閱讀圣奧古斯丁與亞里士多德的著作。我想知道,自己是否一直徘徊在信仰的邊緣。自然與藝術(shù)皆為邊緣,心中的信仰才是核心所在。我真實(shí)地發(fā)現(xiàn),自己擁有一個靈魂。
一天,當(dāng)我坐在陽光下時,我猛然明白了圣尼古斯丁的話的涵義:太陽與月亮,所有自然界的奇跡,皆非上帝的“初作”,而是精神上的二次創(chuàng)造。直到那一刻,通過外部的事物,我才認(rèn)識到精神上的美,那種美已經(jīng)走進(jìn)我的心中。如今,我正在通往內(nèi)在精神意識的道路上摸索前行,希望有一天能夠?qū)⑺鼈儚奈业膬?nèi)心喚醒。我迷失在探索之中,我在學(xué)習(xí)。
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用戶評論
小屁孩的媽媽_lo
先帝創(chuàng)業(yè)未半而中道崩殂,今天下三分,益州疲弊,此誠危急存亡之秋也。然侍衛(wèi)之臣不懈于內(nèi),忠志之士忘身于外者,蓋追先帝之殊遇,欲報(bào)之于陛下也。誠宜開張圣聽,以光先帝遺德,恢弘志士之氣,不宜妄自菲薄,引喻失義,以塞忠諫之路也。宮中府中,俱為一體。陟罰臧否,不宜異同。若有作奸犯科及為忠善者,宜付有司論其刑賞,以昭陛下平明之理。不宜偏私,使內(nèi)外異法也。侍中,侍郎郭攸之,費(fèi)祎,董允等,此皆良實(shí),志慮忠純,是以先帝簡拔以遺陛下,愚以為宮中之事,事無大小,悉以咨之,然后施行,必能裨補(bǔ)闕漏,有所廣益。將軍向?qū)?,性行淑均,曉暢軍事,試用于昔日,先帝稱之曰,能是以眾議舉寵為督愚以為營中之事,現(xiàn)在覺得我煩了??
紫氣兆祥和
我六年級,感覺還行
yu343o85z3676gw4qbtk
請問有文稿嗎
江山血_6d
要是每一段的末尾都放上中文翻譯就好了,好多詞不認(rèn)識需要去找其他軟件翻譯
聽友392795583
加油,一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)積累,相信自己一定會進(jìn)步的