娜塔莉·多默爾 | 朗讀《一間自己的屋子》

But, you may say, we asked you to speak about women and fiction - what, has thatgot to do with a room of one’s own? I will try to explain. When you asked me to speak about women and fiction, I sat down on the banks of a river and began to wonder what the words meant.

不過(guò)，你們或許會(huì)問(wèn)，我們請(qǐng)你來(lái)談?wù)剫D女與小說(shuō)——可是，這與自己的房間又有什么關(guān)系呢？我會(huì)與大家說(shuō)一說(shuō)這其中的究竟。在我收到邀請(qǐng)，要我來(lái)談?wù)剫D女與小說(shuō)這個(gè)主題后，我坐在河邊，開始琢磨這幾個(gè)字眼的確切含意。

They might mean simply a few remarks about Fanny Burney; a few more about Jane Austen; a tribute to the Brontes and a sketch of Haworth Parsonage under snow; some witticisms if possible about Miss Mitford; a respectful allusion to George Eliot; a reference to Mrs Gaskell and one would have done.

或許，這幾個(gè)字就是說(shuō)，我可以點(diǎn)評(píng)一番范妮·伯尼的小說(shuō)，多說(shuō)上幾句簡(jiǎn)·奧斯汀，再稱頌一下勃朗特姐妹，簡(jiǎn)單描述一下冰天雪地里的霍沃斯故居。如若可能，再打趣一下米特福德小姐，充滿敬意地引上幾句喬治·艾略特，還要提一下蓋斯凱爾夫人，這樣，大概就可以收?qǐng)隽恕?/span>

But at second sight the words seemed not so simple. The title women and fiction might mean, and you may have meant it to mean, women and what they are like, or it might mean women and the fiction that they write; or it might mean women and the fiction that is written about them, or it might mean that somehow all three areinextricably mixed together and you want me to consider them in that light.

可轉(zhuǎn)念一想，這幾個(gè)字似乎又另有深意。婦女與小說(shuō)這個(gè)主題，大概是要談一談婦女和她們的形象——也許這才是你們的本意；不然，就大致是要說(shuō)說(shuō)婦女和她們所寫的小說(shuō)；或者，是婦女和那些描寫婦女的小說(shuō)。又或是，這三個(gè)方面你中有我，我中有你，難分彼此——而你們就是想請(qǐng)我從這一角度來(lái)考慮這個(gè)問(wèn)題——這種方式似乎最為有趣。

But when I began to consider the subject in this last way, which seemed the most interesting, I soon saw that it had one fatal drawback. I should never be able to come to a conclusion.

可一旦開始從這個(gè)角度思考，我很快便發(fā)現(xiàn)它有一個(gè)致命的缺點(diǎn)，那就是我永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法得出結(jié)論。

I should never be able to fulfil what is, I understand, the first duty of a lecturer to hand you after an hour’s discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up between the pages of your notebooks and keep on the mantelpiece for ever.

我也無(wú)法盡到自己應(yīng)盡的責(zé)任，在我看來(lái)，站在這兒為你們做演講，讓你們?cè)谝粋€(gè)小時(shí)之后，能在筆記中記下方寸的真知，可以放在壁爐臺(tái)上留作永久的紀(jì)念，才是我首要的責(zé)任。

All I could do was to offer you an opinion upon one minor point — a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction; and that, as you will see, leaves the great problem of the true nature of woman and the true nature of fiction unsolved.

我所能做的，只是對(duì)一個(gè)次要問(wèn)題跟大家談?wù)勎业目捶ǎ阂粋€(gè)女人如果打算寫小說(shuō)的話，那她一定要有錢，還要有一間自己的房間。而這種看法，正如你們會(huì)看到的一樣，并未解決何謂婦女、何謂小說(shuō)的重大問(wèn)題。

I have shirked the duty of coming to a conclusion upon these two questions - women and fiction remain, so far as I am concerned, unsolved problems. But in order to make some amends I am going to do what I can to show you how I arrived at this opinion about the room and the money.

所以，我并不打算就這兩個(gè)問(wèn)題得出什么結(jié)論，在我看來(lái)，婦女與小說(shuō)的問(wèn)題仍舊懸而未決。不過(guò)為了稍作補(bǔ)償，我打算盡己所能，向大家說(shuō)明關(guān)于房間和錢的觀點(diǎn)，我是從何得來(lái)的。

I am going to develop in your presence as fully and freely as I can the train of thought which led me to think this. Perhaps if I lay bare the ideas, the prejudices, that lie behind this statement you will find that they have some bearing upon women and some upon fiction.

我會(huì)把自己的思緒如何歸結(jié)于此，原原本本、毫不掩飾地向諸位講明?；蛟S，只要我把這種說(shuō)法背后的種種觀點(diǎn)，或者說(shuō)種種偏見，向大家一一道破，你們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，這和婦女和小說(shuō)都不無(wú)關(guān)系。

At any rate, when a subject is highly controversial - and any question about sex is that - one cannot hope to tell the truth. One can only show how one came to hold whatever opinion one does hold. One can only give one’s audience the chance of drawing their own conclusions as they observe the limitations, the prejudices, theidiosyncrasies of the speaker.

不管怎么說(shuō)，一個(gè)備受爭(zhēng)議的話題——但凡一個(gè)問(wèn)題牽扯到性別便會(huì)如此——很難指望有誰(shuí)能道出些真理來(lái)。我們能做的只是把自己何以得出某種觀點(diǎn)，且不管這種觀點(diǎn)是什么，如實(shí)地說(shuō)出來(lái)。我們只能讓我們的聽眾，在領(lǐng)略了演講者的局限、偏見或是癖好之后，得出自己的結(jié)論。

Fiction here is likely to contain more truth than fact. Therefore I propose, making use of all the liberties and licences of a novelist, to tell you the story of the two days that preceded my coming here - how, bowed down by the weight of the subject which you have laid upon my shoulders, I pondered it, and made it work in and out of my daily life.

在這種情況下，小說(shuō)，跟事實(shí)相比，倒有可能包含更多的真理。所以，我打算充分發(fā)揮自己身為作家的自由和特權(quán)來(lái)跟大家談?wù)?，在我?lái)這兒之前的兩天里發(fā)生的故事——談?wù)勎易约海谥懒四銈兯n的這個(gè)主題之后，是如何地不堪重負(fù)，如何地絞盡腦汁。

I need not say that what I am about to describe has no existence; Oxbridge is an invention; so is Fernham; ‘I’ is only a convenient term for somebody who has no real being.

在我日常生活的里里外外，都在為此傷腦筋。顯而易見，我將要說(shuō)的一切純屬虛構(gòu)：牛橋大學(xué)只是杜撰，芬漢姆學(xué)院也是如此，而所謂的“我”也不過(guò)是為了方便起見的稱謂，并非實(shí)有其人。

Lies will flow from my lips, but there may perhaps be some truth mixed up with them; it is for you to seek out this truth and to decide whether any part of it is worth keeping. If not, you will of course throw the whole of it into the waste-paper basket and forget all about it.

我也會(huì)信口開河，但其中并非沒有些許的真理，這就要你們來(lái)細(xì)心甄別、去偽存真，要你們來(lái)決定，是否也有些話值得牢記在心。倘若沒有，你們大可把這些統(tǒng)統(tǒng)丟進(jìn)廢紙簍，把今天的一切統(tǒng)統(tǒng)拋在腦后。

Here then was I (call me Mary Beton, Mary Seton, Mary Carmichael or by any name you please — it is not a matter of any importance) sitting on the banks of a river a week or two ago in fine October weather, lost in thought.

接下來(lái)就說(shuō)說(shuō)一兩周前的事，那是在十月的一個(gè)好天氣里，我（姑且叫我瑪麗·伯頓，瑪麗·希頓，瑪麗·卡米克爾，或是隨便什么你們中意的名字——這無(wú)關(guān)緊要）坐在河邊，陷入了沉思。

That collar I have spoken of, women and fiction, the need of coming to some conclusion on a subject that raises all sorts of prejudices and passions, bowed my head to the ground.

剛剛說(shuō)到我肩上的重負(fù)，就是婦女與小說(shuō)這個(gè)主題，還要為這個(gè)一說(shuō)起來(lái)就會(huì)引出各種成見和偏愛的主題下一個(gè)結(jié)論，這壓得我抬不起頭來(lái)。

To the right and left bushes of some sort, golden and crimson, glowed with the colour, even it seemed burnt with the heat, of fire. On the further bank the willows wept in perpetual lamentation, their hair about their shoulders.

在我的兩旁，生長(zhǎng)著一叢叢不知名的灌木，金黃與緋紅的色彩，斑駁而閃亮，看上去仿佛燃燒跳躍的火焰。對(duì)岸，楊柳垂絳，隨風(fēng)拂動(dòng)，在永恒的哀婉中輕聲啜泣。

Notes:

got/ be to do with

to relate to (something); to be about (something) 與......相關(guān)

That's your problem: it is nothing with me!

那是你的問(wèn)題，不關(guān)我的事。

inextricably

in a way that is unable to be separated, released, or escaped from

Fact is inextricably commingled linked with fiction. 

事實(shí)與虛構(gòu)混雜難分。

shrink the/ one's duty

flee from/ ignore the duty; wriggle out of/ shrink responsibility 逃避責(zé)任

In dealing with climate change, the rich word is shrinking its duty.

在處理氣候變化問(wèn)題方面，一些富裕國(guó)家在逃避責(zé)任。

train of though

a series of thoughts or ideas that someone is having 思路

You interrupted my train of thought.

你打斷了我的思路。

idiosyncrasies

a strange or unusual habit, way of behaving, or feature that someone or something has 癖好，怪癖；特征

She often cracks her knuckles when she's speaking - it's one of her little idiosyncrasies.

她講話時(shí)常常將指節(jié)捏得咔咔作響，這是她的一個(gè)小怪癖。