采訪100位青少年，他們最想告訴父母的8句心里話

聲音、英文稿、剪輯、主播：孟飛Phoenix

▽

After Interviewing 100 Teens: 8 Heartfelt Truths From Them

采訪100個青春期孩子后，來自他們的8句心里話

01

Before you share your opinions with me, please take a moment to genuinely listen to mine. Even if you end up being right and I’m wrong, I just want you to respect my right to express my thoughts—that’s what a discussion is about.

跟我分享你們的觀點之前，請先耐心、認真或者至少不敷衍地聽聽我的觀點。哪怕最后證明你是正確的我是錯的，我也希望你能對我表達觀點的權(quán)利表示尊重，因為這才叫討論…

02

Dad & Mum, before you talk to me, please organize your thoughts. Say what you really want in simple terms. Skip the emotional overload and don’t turn one clear point into ten confusing ones.

爸媽，希望你們跟我說話前，先整理好自己的思路，把你們真正想說的建議、想法或是期待，用最簡單明了的話講出來。別摻雜那么多激動的情緒，也不要用那么高亢或低落的語氣跟我講話，更不要把一句話能講清楚的事兒變成十句話來說。

03

Sometimes when I vent about a teacher, a classmate, or homework, I just want someone to understand me. I’m not looking for advice, and I definitely don’t want to see you stress over it. Just be my emotional support, not my extra stress.

爸媽，其實有時我跟你們吐槽某個老師或同學不好、作業(yè)太多或是學習壓力太大時，我其實只是想要找一個愿意理解我的人抱怨一下，讓我的情緒被聽到、被接納，完全不用錯誤地認為自己要給我什么建議，我也不想看到你們?yōu)榇俗兊米タ?，因為那會讓我更加崩潰。換言之，希望你們做我的“情緒緩沖墊”，千萬別做我的“情緒增加劑"。

04

When I have conflicts, I hope you’ll stand by me emotionally first. Don’t rush to defend others before supporting me.

爸媽，我希望當我和別人發(fā)生沖突時，不管怎樣你們情感上先站在我這邊，先要護著我這個自家人，別一上來就胳膊肘往外拐講一堆道理或者只顧護著外人。

05

In arguments with adults, winning the emotional battle is key. If I give in, it feels like I’m giving up my independence. Respect my space, and I’ll be more open to your suggestions.

當我和大人爭論時，事實層面誰對誰錯并不重要，關(guān)鍵是氣勢上我絕不能輸。因為認輸便代表著我把自己思想上的獨立權(quán)割讓給了父母。所以你要讓我接受你的建議就必須要讓我感到自己是被尊重的。

06

Please don’t criticize me in front of my friends. Their opinions mean the most to me.

千萬別在我同學和朋友面前批評我，駁我面子，因為他們（同齡人）對我的評價和印象，對我來說非常非常重要。

07

When I say “I never want to see you again,” what I really mean is: “Stop! I don’t like how you’re talking to me. Change your approach.”

有時我說“我再也不想見到你”時，其實真正想說的是: “停！我很不喜歡你現(xiàn)在跟我說話的態(tài)度，我不想你再用那樣的方式對我。”

08

Mom, I really don’t want to hear you say “Everything we do is for you” all the time. It makes me feel guilty, like I owe you something. When I feel that pressure and can’t meet it, I might just want to escape (like skipping school or pretending to be sick). I hope our closeness is based on appreciation, understanding, and love, not guilt.

媽，我真不希望你們時刻把“我們做的一切都是為了你”掛在嘴邊，因為那會讓我感到愧疚，總覺得自己必須做些什么來償還對你們的這份虧欠。當一面是償還的力，一面我又感到自己做不到時，逃避（不上學或是生病）就是我的唯一選擇。我希望和你們的親密是建立在彼此欣賞、認可和愛的基礎(chǔ)上，而不是用內(nèi)疚把我們綁在一起。