Relationships & Romance - Louise Hay

Personal relationships always seem to be the first priority for many of us. Perhaps you are always searching for love. Hunting for love doesn't always bring the right partner because the reasons for wanting love are unclear. We think oh if I only had someone who loved me my life would be so much better but that's not the way it works. There is a big difference between the need for love and being needy for love. When you are needy for love it simply means that you are missing love and approval from the most important person you know, yourself.
對于我們很多人而言，個人感情貌似是我們最重視的事?？赡苣阋恢痹趯ふ艺鎼?。去尋找愛并不一定會讓你遇見對的人，因為你想要愛的原因并不清楚。我們會想，啊，如果有人愛我的話，我的生活會變得好很多。但這并不能算原因。需要愛，和缺愛，是完全不一樣的。當你缺愛的時候，沒有人愛你，于你而言最重要的人沒有給你肯定，而這個人就是你自己。

You may become involved in relationships that are codependent and ineffectual for both partners. You can never create love in your life by talking or thinking about being lonely. Feeling lonely and needy just pushes people away. You cannot heal a relationship in your life by talking or thinking about how awful it is now. This only puts the attention on the problem not the solution. You want to turn your thoughts away from the problem and create new thoughts. That will produce a solution. Arguing for your limitations is just resistance. And resistance is only a delay tactic. It's another way of saying I'm not good enough to have what I'm asking for. 
你可能身陷那種相互依賴的、對于雙方而言都是名存實亡的感情。如果你一直在想、一直在說自己很孤單，那你永遠無法在生活中創(chuàng)造愛。如果你很孤獨、很缺愛，那么沒有人愿意接近你。如果你一直埋怨、一直糾結(jié)于你現(xiàn)在的親密關系有多糟糕，這是無法讓這段關系變好的。這只會讓你把注意力全都放在問題、而不是解決辦法上。畢竟你還是想扭轉(zhuǎn)自己的想法，不要一直糾結(jié)于這個問題，并且換種思維方式。這才會讓你找到解決辦法。一直聲稱自己不夠強大，這只是你對現(xiàn)實的逃避罷了。逃避是一種拖延的手段而已。這就等于你在說，我不夠好，我配不上我想要的東西。

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